Movie Review Monday: The Hunger Games

Along with about a bajillion other people, I saw The Hunger Games this weekend. If you've been reading my movie posts for any time at all, you'll know I have a particular soft spot for books and always nitpick the resulting movies. This time, however, I think more of my complaints have to do with the movie itself, not the way it was adapted from the book.

But, before we get to that, a little background info: read the book. No, seriously. I find that this series is incredibly hard to describe. I always end up making it sound like bizarre science fiction or bipolar Harry Potter. Keeping in mind that it's not those things, the best I can explain, it's a dystopian (not happily-ever-after) story set in Pan Em. Pan Em is a country that sits where America used to be. There was a revolt and a war and eventually The Capitol rose to power and created a very Big Brother-like society. The Capitol enjoys wealth and modern conveniences. Most of the other citizens are relegated to districts and forced to live under strict rules, impoverished conditions, etc., all while being expected to think The Capitol is awesome. Every year, to keep the people from attempting another rebellion, each district must select one male and one female tribute between 12-18 to fight the other tributes to the death in the Hunger Games. To make matters worse, The Capitol thinks it's a huge event. They have parties and place bets. There are even gamemakers who can alter the outcome, make the conditions in the arena worse, send in extra obstacles, and so forth.

The series centers around Katniss. She's from one of the poorest districts that always lose the Games. (They've only had one other winner in their history.) Initially, her 12 year old sister Prim is chosen as tribute. Katniss, a skilled hunter and survivalist... and basically her sister's caretaker after their father died and her mother had a breakdown... quickly volunteers to fight in her place. The rest of the book focuses on her experiences fighting in the Hunger Games.  (And yes, kids kill kids. If, at this point, it's not something you're interested in, I totally get that. I held off reading it for a long time thinking I wouldn't like it. But, I found it to be much more about justice and bravery and surviving than about violence. The classic Good vs. Evil thing.)

At this point, I'll assume you've either read the book, seen the movies, or don't care about spoilers, okay?

So, the movie. As far as adaptations from books go, I think they did pretty well. As always, there were some differences. The book is in first-person so all the experiences are seen through the eyes of Katniss or from information she gets about what happened. The movie isn't narrated or strictly from her perspective. That means there are more "behind-the-scenes" things that can be shown. (Some of which were talked about / implied in the book... others of which took some creative license.) And, as always, not everything from the book can make it into the movie. For example, in the book, her friendship with Gale (Gale is a guy, by the way) was something you instantly knew was very important to her. In addition, it doesn't take long to pick up on the "Are they more than friends? Maybe? Kinda sorta. No, maybe not. I can't decide" vibe. In the movie, he's really a minor character and gets little screen time. I can see this causing confusion later as it intertwines with the Peeta (male tribute and also kinda sorta maybe love interest) storyline. In exchange, however, the Head Gamemaker - Seneca Crane - has a much stronger presence in the movie. I didn't mind much. His beard was really cool (it has its own Facebook page!) and he's played by Arkansan Wes Bentley. And, continuing with the "as always" theme, some parts felt really rushed... while others felt a little drug out or unnecessary.

My biggest issue with the plot was that Prim gave Katniss the mockingjay pin. In the book, she received this from the mayor's daughter. While unimportant in the first book, the relationship with the mayor's daughter actually helps Katniss quite a bit in the following books as it's her only link to information she needs. So, I didn't like that. Also, it highlighted a larger problem where relationships weren't developed. Gale, as I already mentioned... as well as Cinna, her stylist - played by Lenny Kravitz - and others who all have pretty important roles in the future were just sort of "there" but not as in-depth as I felt they needed to be.

That said, I still maintain it was a fair adaptation. What I hated - HATED - was the way the movie was filmed. I don't know "movie" terms... but it was really spinny and blurry and shaky and whirled around a lot. I saw the movie with my friend Brittney. When we were choosing seats, she said a friend told her to sit up higher because the movie was almost Blair Witch Project-like and that it was worse up close. We sat about halfway up. And it nearly made me sick. I don't get motion sick. Ever. I've been on a ship in a storm. I've been on flights so turbulent people's drinks literally ended up on the ceiling. I've ridden crazy roller coasters. And The Hunger Games nearly brought me down. I get that they were going for a feeling of stress and chaos, even disorientation. But, geeze! A couple scenes of that would have done the trick. Instead, it was almost the whole movie.

All in all, I did enjoy it. I think it was worth the wait and (mostly) worth they hype. It was well cast. Jennifer Lawrence, who played Katniss, was INCREDIBLE! Everyone else did well, too. The movie did a good job of not glossing over the violence but not making it really in your face. (It's a PG-13 movie, which I thought was fair. And that was because of the violence. Aside from a couple "minor" cuss words, the language wasn't a factor. They certainly didn't use the one allowed F bomb in a PG-13 movie.)

I give it a B-. The storyline, acting, etc. all would have earned an A-... but I had to deduct a full grade because  I've only puked 3 times since third grade but the movie nearly added a fourth.

If you saw it, what did you think? On the better end of book-to-movie transitions? Anything that really bothered you? How bummed are you that it will be a year and a half until Catching Fire comes out?

I Don't Bathe

Seriously, I don't bathe. Baths are just not my thing. (Relax. Obviously I shower. But it's way more fun to declare "I don't bathe!")

(Yes, right off the bat, this is going to include a Friends reference. The One Where Chandler Takes a Bath. The opening scene is totally me!)

My husband, on the other hand, is a big fan of baths. Not in a girly essential oils and bubbles and stuff kind of way, just he prefers baths over showers and says the hot water helps his muscles relax and all that. And, if we had a soaking tub or a whirlpool, I could go along with that. But, we don't. We just have the standard bath / shower combo with a fairly small tub. The water doesn't even cover me all the way. (Oh, and because discussing the particulars of bathing seems a bit immodest, please assume I am wearing a swimsuit. Or, better yet, a burkini.)

But, a couple weeks ago, I was out of town attending a conference for work and staying at an incredibly nice hotel. Like "I saw Jeremy Lin in the lobby" kind of nice. No, I'm not kidding. The New York Knicks were staying there too, but I digress. Anyway, I checked in kind of late and was upgraded to a junior suite. No complaints here, right?

Not me. Not my experience.
(Source)

I wandered around my room and wondered what the fancy people who usually stay here to do to pass the time. After I couldn't figure out how to turn on the TV (true story), I decided I'd try out the giant soaking tub. After all, my complaint with baths is that they are too shallow and I'm too squished in there, right? That wasn't the case here. So, I donned my burkini and started filling up the tub. I even emptied one of the tiny bottles of complimentary body wash under the water and watched it foam up.

(*Side note: Yes, I know the thought of bathing in a hotel bathtub creeps some people out. I get that. Nevertheless, I feel confident the bathtub at the Ritz was about 100 times cleaner than the bathtub at my house. Plus, you know, the birkini would have shielded me from any unsavory bits that weren't cleaned away.)

Once I got settled, I texted David. I figured he'd be proud of me for endeavoring to enjoy a bath. Instead, here's what happened:

11:26 Texted David that I was in the bath
11:28 Texted David that I was bored already
11:28 Checked Facebook
11:29 Checked Twitter
11:30 Checked Facebook again
11:30 Decide to actually try relaxing
11:30 - 11:33 Make shapes out of the bubbles. (And by "shapes", mostly pointy Madonna boobs)
11:34 - 11:35 Move back and forth a little to make waves.
11:36 -11:38 Think about laser hair removal. Realize that if I could actually afford to stay at this hotel, I could also afford to have everything I wanted lasered.
11:39 Decide to save up for laser hair removal, starting with my upper lip.
11:40 Wash my face. Realize how much makeup comes off and what a bum I am for not washing my face every night.
11:41 Resolve to wash my face every night. (Two weeks later, this has yet to happen.)
11:42 Note that the water is no longer super hot. Plug the plug.
11:43 Text David to let him know that, while my efforts at taking a bath weren't fabulous, 16 minutes might be a new record for me!
11:43 Wrap up in the complimentary fancy robe hanging on the bathroom door. (Again, not gross. Because of the birkini.) 

So yeah, I'm still not a bath-taker. I just have no attention span for it. I really enjoy sitting in a hot tub, but I think that has a lot to do with the fact that the water stays hot and the jets are fabulous. But, a regular bath? The water cools off too quickly. I'm far too clumsy to read a book or look at a magazine. (My phone use involved me hanging awkwardly out of the tub so the phone was a safe distance from the potential watery grave.)

I think I'll just stick with showers.

The Bachelor: Ben {Finale} "If things don't work out, call me!"

Well, at long last, Ben is ready to conclude the public portion of his "journey to find love", propose to a lovely lady, and retreat quietly into a normal life, get married and live happily ever after. Or, maybe just the proposal part. Because, after all, Chris Harrison opens the episode by promising us this is "the most controversial finale in Bachelor history". Just like every finale in Bachelor history, but whatever…

 

Let me begin by saying that I can never give my full attention to the finale and After the Final Rose. It's too drawn out. There is no reason the finale should be a 2 hour episode and then another hour for ATFR. Do we really need to see 20 minutes of girls curling their hair and twirling in their dresses and saying how they just KNOW they are the one he's going to pick? Or another 20 minutes of him acting like he's not convinced yet and listing the various pros and cons of each woman? Booooring.

You know what else we don't need? To hear "This Year's Love" again. But, guess what?! Seriously, it's an okay song but this is at least the fourth time we've heard it. Is it the unofficial theme for the season? I mean, it's fitting. It's not like love found on the show is going to last beyond this year. If it lasts beyond this summer, I think we'll all be impressed.

Nevertheless, Ben spends some time yapping about the women and how nervous and awesome and difficult and wonderful this whole thing has been. And how Switzerland is the perfect place for the story to end. End? Um, what?! Again, shockingly accurate… but I think what he meant was for the whole multi-woman hoopla to come to an end. Whatever he meant, he's just glad to have the Matterhorn in plain view from his hotel room so he can draw strength from it. Or something.

Ben shifts his focus to the impending arrival of his mom and sister. If you remember from meeting them on his hometown date with Ashley, they are a little, um, upper-crust. Like "ladies who lunch" sort of thing. Or play tennis on a regular basis. That's why -despite their names actually being Barbara and Julia - I refer to them as Bitzi and Mitzi. Typically I use these names interchangeably but let's just say Bitzi will be the mom and Mitzi will be the sister. Okay? Okay.

Bitzi and Mitzi arrive, both dressed in solid black. Weren't they in black at Ben's hometown date, also? Seems like I remember saying "Colorful clothing is for poor people" or something. Ben gives a brief description of each woman to his family. Mitzi then asks "So was there a woman in the group who just didn't get along with everyone else?"

What? This is the random question she comes up with? Yeah, right. But, of course, Ben sheepishly admits Courtney was that woman. Mitzi immediately says that is a red flag and he should be "weary". Um, Mitz, I think you mean "leery". Weary is what we all our after watching your lame brother awkwardly make out with several chicks for the past couple of months.

Luckily for Ben, it's time to introduce Lindzi to his family. She arrives and is visibly nervous. And has a huge zit on her face. It's covered pretty well with a mountain of concealer, but still… (I'm not judging. I'm wondering what concealer it is. I need to get some.)

Everyone sits down for dinner. Lindzi drops her fork. Mitzi and Bitzi cut their eyes at her, no doubt thinking "Can you imagine if she dropped her fork at the country club?!" Lindzi further complicates the situation by saying she gets nervous when she has to "eat proper". And speak proper, apparently.

Next, she drops her fork again. I'm sure Bitzi is ready to faint and thinking something like "I remember back in 1998 when Charlotte Franklin's son brought that hillbilly girl to the Christmas party and she spilled her drink. If Ben marries the fork-dropper, no one will ever let me live it down."

(This is probably a good place to mention that I've only been to a country club a couple of times… and I'm kind of a hillbilly… so I assume all country club regulars speak with fancy, almost-British accents and judge people who don't use table manners befitting an audience with the Queen. In reality, the people I know with memberships just want to drink and golf, but I really prefer my high-society, over-enunciated version.)

Once the clumsy dinner wraps up, Bitzi and Lindzi (hey, I just noticed all these names end in "zi"… cool) chat for a bit. She asks Lindzi what the main ingredient she sees in Ben is that would sustain a relationship. Lindzi says he's amazing and she's comfortable around him. Um, I guess that's an answer. It works for Bitzi, who declares that it was "sweet to meet" Lindzi.

Now Mitzi's turn. First she tells Lindzi that Ben wants to go deeper with her. I suppose she meant all that "let

your guard down" stuff, but Tristan the 9^th grader in my head (who has been relatively quiet this season, right?) is pretty sure she meant in the "let your pants down" sense. Mitzi then wants to gossip a little and asks about Courtney. But, before we get to that's, Mitzi's hair... all day yesterday, I didn't like something about my hair. I had scrunched it the day before and then my niece brushed it out. But, I only wash my hair every day (I pay good money for color... if I wash it every day, I'll have to spend twice as much!) so I went with the brushed out look. I would have actually straightened it, but I woke up 20 minutes before I had to be at work, so... Anyway, as soon as I saw Mitzi, I went "My hair! That's exactly how it looks today. Oh my." Except I have bangs. That helps.

I thought Lindzi's answer to the "What's Courtney's deal" question was pretty gracious. She said that she and Courtney are just very different. Lindzi is more of a people person and Courtney is more shut off. That in such an unusual situation, why not try to make friends with the other girls? See, gracious. I would've been like "That chick is mean. And a drunk. And has crazy eyes. But she's kind of slutty, so that's why your brother is going to pick her." Mitzi seemed to like the gracious answer and says she would be very happy if Ben picked her (Lindzi).

The Bachelor: Ben {Women Tell All}

Okay, so here's the deal: I'm in Dallas on business. I watched the Women Tell All without the benefit of a DVR, so I probably missed a few things. Also, I tend to zone out during the WTA, so I probably missed a little bit more because of that. And, I probably missed even more because I spent most of the episode wondering how quickly I could write this blog so I could get down to the hotel lobby and stalk the New York Knicks.

WHAT?!

Oh, yeah, the Knicks are staying at my hotel. Am I Knicks fan? No. But Joey Tribbiani is and I feel like I would be doing him a great disservice if I didn't put in some time at least trying to hide behind a plant and take a picture of Jeremy Lin.

Of course, Joey Tribbiani has no clue who Jeremy Lin is because Joey would now be pushing 40 and Jeremy Lin, is, what? 14?

In fact, I think they are all 14. Because, last night I was at the desk checking in and I noticed a swarm of super tall guys in the lobby and I thought "I bet those guys play basketball." Then David said "What was with the basketball team in the lobby?" I said "I know, right?" (Even though I'm not supposed to say that.) "But they all looked soooo young. I bet it's a college team or something." Because, March Madness and such, right?

So, today I find out it was, in fact, the Knicks. I text David to tell him. (He was only in town for the weekend and headed back today.) He replies "I KNEW I SAW JEREMY LIN!!" Plus, considering Jeremy Lin is likely the only NBA player either of us can identify, this was extra exciting for him. (We're not NBA fans. Sue us.) Also, I'm officially ancient.

All that to say that I am far more interested in maybe seeing a glimpse of someone who might be a Knickerbocker than I am in Ben's "journey to find love"... but, alas, you don't come here for a recap the NBA.

So, Ben's ladies...

Chris, of course, tells us how this is THE MOST controversial season EVER. You know, because he big puffy hearts hyperbole. He also says that, for the first time ever, one of the final two ladies has come to the WTA to face the music.

But, before we can get to the gals, we have to find out where some former contestants are now.

Luckily, they are all in Vegas. Drinking heavily and grinding on one another. We see a few people making out. A few people dancing inappropriately. Ed talking about the demise of his relationship with Jillian, but what a great girl she is. Some other chick talking about how she thinks Ed would be good in bed. (ACK!) Ryan Park admitting what a dork he was for using his date with Ashley to talk about water heaters. Then more drinking and dancing.

And, most "dramatically", Frank talks about leaving the show when he realized he wanted his ex-girlfriend back instead of Ali. And how they got back together, but then broke up, so now maybe he wants Ali back. Then awkwardly hugging her.

All in all, the whole thing - as the attendees mentioned a few hundred times - was basically a casting call for Bachelor Pad 3. If you go to the reunion shows and act like a prude, forget it. If you use another contestant as a stripper pole, get crazy drunk, start a fight, don't seem worried about STDs, leave with someone you barely know, etc., you've got a pretty good chance of getting an invite to Bachelor Pad. Yippee.

Okay, really, Ben's ladies...

Right off the bat, I have to mention that Jennifer's magenta hair is now red. Not a beautiful orange-y red or strawberry blonde... but actual red. Like an apple. Or a marker. Or some color that couldn't possibly exist in nature. I don't get it. If you're going to go that drastic, just go Katy Perry blue.

After Jamie declares that she was so glad Ben was the Bachelor (and we are forced to relive the awkward mouth-raping she put on Ben... just when we were finally able to sleep again without that nightmare), Chris starts recapping the Blakeley situation.

Now, I could repeat everything she said for you, but I have Knicks to stalk, so basically she just said that she was herself and she's sorry if that came off as offensive but that she didn't feel like she deserved some of the ugly statements made about her.

Somewhere amongst this, Samantha started yipping. First about Blakeley, then about Brittney.

Brittney, for her part, said that she left the show upon realizing that she had absolutely no attraction to Ben. PS: Brittney is my new favorite of the season.

Samantha took issue with this and continued yipping. Brittney, my new favorite, hilariously declared that Samantha was the chihuahua of the house. That she never stopped talking. Even Chris Harrison cracked up at this.

Next up, Shawntel came into the Hot Seat to discuss her ill-fated return. She said she didn't expect to be instant friends with anyone but that having the other girls attack her for her job and the size of her thighs was hurtful.

Fair enough.

Erika, the perpetrator of the "wide hips" comment, replied with "Well, I don't have tiny thighs, so..."

You know, for all the nastiness Courtney has vomited all over this season, Erika's comment was in a douchey league of its own. Why, once again, insult someone's thighs? Especially if you have "big thighs"? I mean, you don't see me mentioning how Monica's dress was too short and revealed her cellulite every time the camera zoomed in on the people in front of her, do you? Of course not. Because I have PLENTY of cellulite of my own. I just keep it covered. But Shawntel A) does not have big hips, thighs, or anything else, and B) Erika is mean.

In response to her famous face-contorting "WHO IS SHE?!" declaration by Elyse, she says she actually did know who Shawntel was but she was so taken aback to have her date interrupted that she didn't piece together that it was Shawntel or what was happening. Okay, fair enough.

Yes, fair enough is my theme for the night. Because, honestly, does anything said on this episode change your opinion about anyone you totally loved or totally hated? No. But for the people you were kind of meh about, it just gives them a chance to make a few good points or make a few bad points, right? So, "fair enough" is all I can muster.

Next up, Emily takes the Hot Seat. She says a negative piece was introduced to her relationship with Ben the moment she mentioned Courtney, but, in the end, she wouldn't want to be with someone who would say "Tread lightly. You don't know me as well as you think." instead of "I respect what you're saying. Thanks for coming to me with these concerns."

In response to the skinny dipping with Courtney, Emily says she felt it was disrespectful and that the skinny dipping just clouded his mind and made it all about sex instead of building relationships.

To which Chris Harrison replied "Well, you've finally figured out men. We can all go home now."

Fair enough. I completely agree with Emily. Getting nekkid with the first girl to drop trou was not a great way to keep your mind on relationship-building. But, I agree with Chris. For a lot of men, especially those inclined to come on this show, relationships probably come second to the topless chick in front of you.

Emily wraps up her thoughts by saying that, if Ben picked Courtney, then he's made his bed and now he can lie in it.

And he will lie in it. For however long it takes him to make mediocre lovin' to Courtney. And he'll continue to lie in it as often as she'll let him. Which won't be long.

Nicki's time in the Hot Seat was uneventful. She's the "still holding on" girl this season. She was blindsided, she still has feelings for him, but she's ok now. Blah blah.

KCB tells us she worried maybe she didn't say enough or do enough. And, obviously, she didn't. What could she have done differently? Been skankier and naked-er, obviously. Sorry, KCB. But,she adds that she got most of her answers when she "flew halfway around the world" to Switzerland. Ugh.

Finally, the girls begin the all-out trashing of Courtney.

Everyone says how mean she was, how she was Jekyll and Hyde around Ben, how she was clearly there to win, etc. The only one defending her was Casey S. Casey says Courtney really did have a crush on Ben even when she watched him on Ashley's season.

Elyse (?) says "Of course she did. He was on TV."

Raise your hand if you hollered "Amen!"

Emily continues that, even if it had been any other Joe Schmo up there, Courtney would have tried her darndest to win.

Finally, Courtney takes the Hot Seat. She begins by saying the way the girls reacted to her is fair and that she wishes she could have done so much differently. That she came into the house not wanting confrontation, but it just played out differently.

Blakeley says she wants to know what she ever did to warrant being called a stripper. Courtney replies "Nothing". That's when the fake tears begin.

Basically, everyone except Casey S. felt like Courtney only came to the WTA to repair her image. Nicki asks, if that wasn't the case, what was the turning point when Court realized she was wrong.

Courtney says it was when she was able to be out of the situation for a few days (hometown dates) and reflect on things.

Um, really? Because, at some points in my life, I've been intentionally mean to people. I knew I was doing it at the time. I did it anyway. TO BE MEAN. I didn't need a few days to reflect on it and realize I was being mean. I knew it already. Now, obviously, at some other point I felt bad about that and made amends. So if Courtney had said that, I'd totally be like "Yeah, I get that", but to say that you needed a few days to reflect and realize how terribly you'd acted? Unlikely. I don't buy it.

Also still not buying it? The bulk of the other ladies. Especially since Courtney's best "excuse" for her actions was that she was uncomfortable and didn't know how to handle the situation. Emily wisely responds that every single girl there was uncomfortable, but they chose to make friends and support each other. Courtney chose to lash out at the girls and spend the rest of the time in her room.

Courtney says she just wishes the girls could have gotten to know the real her. Um, well, I think they did. But, whatever. The girls roll their eyes as hard as I did. Then Court launches into a soliloquy about how sorry she is, from the bottom of her heart, and that this is the hardest things she's ever had to go through and she just hopes the girls can forgive her.

Emily again pipes up that, when she apologized to Courtney, Courtney says "I don't forgive and forget" but yet she's asking them to forgive her? Curious.

Blakeley tries to talk a little more to Courtney, but hits a wall. She then says "I'm trying to be nice to you and you won't even look at me." So, that pretty much sums up what I think of Courtney's apology.

In the end, she leaves the stage and the girls continue to gripe about her.

Fair enough.

Lastly, Ben comes on stage. He said absolutely nothing worth repeating. His answer to any questions about his motives began with "Well, in that moment..."

Seriously, nothing worth repeating. But, what can he say? It's pretty obvious to 98% of America that he picks Courtney. And 98% of America hates her. Anything he said that even kind of defended her would have resulted in a bum rush from the women.

The night wraps up with the infamous blooper reel we see every season. Tonight's highlights included Ben being attacked by a bird while out on a yacht, a cow crashing his picnic with Courtney, and lots and lots and lots of dorky dancing and falling down. Geesh. Even the highlight reel this season was a waste.

Also a waste? The 10 minutes spent on scenes from next week's finale. You know what? We're going to watch the finale. No one who cares enough to watch the Women Tell All is going to be like "Nah. I'm over it. Forget the finale." We're going to watch. We all strongly suspect Courtney wins and we will want to throw our beverage of choice at the TV, but we're going to watch. It's what we do. So do we really need an exhausting, long preview? No. Ugh.

So, that's the Women Tell All. Or, as I like to call it, the Women Tell (nothing at) All. Did we learn anything we didn't already know? No. Did they spend almost half the show attempting to humanize Courtney in an effort to soften the blow if/when Ben picks her next week? Yes. Did it work? No. All in all, I could have spent those two hours in the lobby trying to see a famous person. Instead, I drug a chair up to the TV and took notes, much to the shock of the housekeeper who came in for the turndown service. I can only imagine how crazy I must have looked. Thanks a lot, The Bachelor, thanks a lot. For nothing.

The only think that made it worth watching was the clip as the credits rolled. Chris referenced Jenna's insane meltdown and crazy comments, particularly the "we can share a tampon" comment she made to Monica. Monica, as a peace offering, brought out a (clean) tampon to give to Jenna.

Yes, seriously, that was the highlight of the night.  I know, right?

I'm actually scheduling this to post on Monday night, before I've done my radio recap, but I'll try to come back and post the link... though I'll most likely just talk about my Knick-stalking and not lame ol' Ben.  (UPDATE: The link to the radio recap is HERE

See you next week, for what I'm sure will be a "I CAN'T BELIEVE HE PICKED THAT WRETCHED WOMAN!!!" gripe session. (Except, yes, I can believe it. Refer to her willingness to be naked. The end.)