It's Week 4 of Bachelor Pad... and I think we can all agree that the most impressive part thus far is that anyone is still watching. Or that no one on the show has killed another housemate. Seriously, y'all, these people are extra crazy. Or I'm crazy for watching it. But I think we've long since established my questionable sanity. Anyway...
This week picks up where last week left off. Remember the whole dramatic "Kasey..." and then the screen went black? And some people were like "He was about to say 'Kasey, I'm sorry...' and let Jake stay!" Yet, as expected, it was Jake who went home. Since they held it over for another week, I was hoping there would be some major drama as Jake exited.
(I will not make a midget wrestling joke. I will not make a midget wrestling joke...) Instead, Jake said a few words about how they are sending the wrong guy home and anyone who is serious about winning better get serious about eliminating the power couples. Then he, once again, apologizes to Vienna. He gets in the limo and leaves. But not before Kasey - THREE TIMES - says "Kick rocks, dude". I mean, the only thing more lame than that would be if he threw up the deuces. Oh, wait...
Jake tells us his main goal in coming here was to apologize to Vienna and try to find forgiveness, which he thinks he did. I don't remember exactly how he said it, but roughly translated, he did his part. If she still hates him, that's her problem. He then says how crazy the house is and that the $250,000 wasn't worth staying there anyway.
Kasey, on the other hand, is gloating about getting rid of Jake. He says the devil is gone. And that he (Kasey) is the strongest strategist in the house. Now, you probably read that as strategist... like "strat-a-gist", right? Well, Kasey pronounced it "stra-tee-gist". I guess we better all convert to his way. After all, he has a shirt declaring him a Jenius.
Vienna thanks everyone for keeping Kasey. Erica tells us that she's tired of Kasey and Vienna, with their smug, ugly expressions on their ugly little faces. Wow. Again, it's not that I disagree, it's just that Erica is really mean about looks.
Fortunately, we fast-forward to the next morning. Chris Harrison arrives to summon everyone to the challenge. And to, once again, alarm me with his attire. Seriously, where are Clinton and Stacey? This guy needs to surrender his wardrobe in exchange for a $5,000 fashion makeover.
Chris informs everyone that today's challenge is the kissing contest! So, everyone pop an extra Valtrex and head outside. (Valtrex doesn't just treat those kind of herpes... it can help with frequent cold sores, too. Or so I've been told.)