If you ask me, sometimes plastic weaponry can help relieve workplace stress. Before that will make sense, there are two things I need to explain.
First, I am a ninja. Well, not in the assassin sense of the word... or in the stealthy, physical threat sense of the word... and not in the "keep it secret" sense, since I'm broadcasting it on my blog. But, trust me, I'm a ninja... just maybe not in the conventional sense.
First, I am a ninja. Well, not in the assassin sense of the word... or in the stealthy, physical threat sense of the word... and not in the "keep it secret" sense, since I'm broadcasting it on my blog. But, trust me, I'm a ninja... just maybe not in the conventional sense.
If I were a ninja in the conventional sense, it would probably go something like this.
I began operating as a ninja a few years back. That's when I changed positions at work. Prior to that, I worked in the closing department. I was that lady who made you sign 900 papers when you wanted to buy a house. I'm sure the customers felt at times like I was trying to bleed the life out of them slowly. I wanted something more fast and furious. An opportunity opened up in the software / training area and I jumped at the chance. A fabulous girl named Jessie took a similar position at the same time.
Suddenly, we had access to all sorts of "behind the scenes" functions. We had really cool computer tools. We could kick unsuspecting folks out of the system. We could send stealthy messages that would appear on their computer screen. We could "shadow" their computer and move their mouse. Of course, we never did any of these things unless it was required, but you know, just knowing we could was fun. Basically, we were awesome! Sometimes, people would ask us how we fixed something so quickly or when they couldn't. At first, we tried to explain. People rarely understood. It was just easier to say "Because we're ninjas!"
The era of the Chuck Norris joke was fading. The obsession with pirates was dwindling. Ninjas were on the cutting edge of pop culture and we quickly embraced our own ninjaness. People even began requesting we "ninja kick" them out of the system if they froze up. We like to think everyone respected our mad ninja skills. While I no longer call myself a ninja on a daily basis (mostly because Jessie left the company and it just wasn't as fun by myself... not because I stopped being a geek), I have access to all the same (and more) awesomeweapons tools, so I am still very much a software ninja.
The next thing important to this story is that I love The Office. You probably already know this, but it bears repeating. The only show I love more than The Office is Friends.
If you're not an Office watcher (well, I don't understand that, but ok) then you may not know that one of the underlying themes on the show is pranks. They hide things, encase things in Jello, etc. Dwight is usually the butt of these jokes. You can learn more about Dwight here. Dwight also has a penchant for weaponry. He has been known to hide weapons throughout the office in case he needs to attack (or defend himself) suddenly. So, when you combine the concept of pranks with the concept of hidden weaponry, something crazy is bound to occur... especially if you happen to have gotten your cousins hooked on the show.
Specifically, something might happen like opening the refrigerator at work this morning and finding a plastic ninja sword inside. Now, normally this would have seemed odd... but since I had already found throwing stars and daggers hidden in various places throughout my office, finding a sword in a fridge seemed logical. My co-worker and I had a huge laugh about it. (Obviously, she had some foreknowledge. Someone had to let the culprit in the building.)
Suddenly, we had access to all sorts of "behind the scenes" functions. We had really cool computer tools. We could kick unsuspecting folks out of the system. We could send stealthy messages that would appear on their computer screen. We could "shadow" their computer and move their mouse. Of course, we never did any of these things unless it was required, but you know, just knowing we could was fun. Basically, we were awesome! Sometimes, people would ask us how we fixed something so quickly or when they couldn't. At first, we tried to explain. People rarely understood. It was just easier to say "Because we're ninjas!"
The era of the Chuck Norris joke was fading. The obsession with pirates was dwindling. Ninjas were on the cutting edge of pop culture and we quickly embraced our own ninjaness. People even began requesting we "ninja kick" them out of the system if they froze up. We like to think everyone respected our mad ninja skills. While I no longer call myself a ninja on a daily basis (mostly because Jessie left the company and it just wasn't as fun by myself... not because I stopped being a geek), I have access to all the same (and more) awesome
The next thing important to this story is that I love The Office. You probably already know this, but it bears repeating. The only show I love more than The Office is Friends.
If you're not an Office watcher (well, I don't understand that, but ok) then you may not know that one of the underlying themes on the show is pranks. They hide things, encase things in Jello, etc. Dwight is usually the butt of these jokes. You can learn more about Dwight here. Dwight also has a penchant for weaponry. He has been known to hide weapons throughout the office in case he needs to attack (or defend himself) suddenly. So, when you combine the concept of pranks with the concept of hidden weaponry, something crazy is bound to occur... especially if you happen to have gotten your cousins hooked on the show.
Specifically, something might happen like opening the refrigerator at work this morning and finding a plastic ninja sword inside. Now, normally this would have seemed odd... but since I had already found throwing stars and daggers hidden in various places throughout my office, finding a sword in a fridge seemed logical. My co-worker and I had a huge laugh about it. (Obviously, she had some foreknowledge. Someone had to let the culprit in the building.)
The cache of ninja weaponry I have located thus far
Now, fast-forward to 3:00 this afternoon. As I have already written, work is a bit stressful right now. To make matters worse, there is a person I am not exactly seeing eye to eye with at the moment. That person made me mad this afternoon. Well, that's an understatement... furious is probably more accurate. When I'm mad, I yell. When I'm furious, I yell a lot. The great thing about only have one co-worker (who is only there part of the time) that I get along with very well is that I can do things like yell and scream and she will just encourage me to let it out. In a week or so, something will happen and it will be her turn to yell and scream. When I became enraged this afternoon, she didn't bat an eye at my outburst.
When the acceptable time period for a hissy fit had passed, I attempted to calm myself and get back to work. I was unsuccessful. I looked her and said "I just don't feel like I'm done yelling yet!" She replied "Maybe you should get your ninja sword and hit some stuff..."
So that's exactly what I did.
There's a mental picture for you, right? Me whirling a plastic ninja sword and hitting office furniture!! Fortunately, it only took a few whacks before I felt better and she and I were both in a fit of laughter. It was much more effective than squeezing a stress ball or continuing to yell. Plus, it's just funny. You know it's a bad day when you result to plasticized violence!!
So, to the toy weapon-hiding prankster (we both know who you are), the joke is on you. The sword was exactly what I needed to get through the day. To the rest of you, maybe you should consider wielding a plastic sword from time to time too. It's quite therapeutic. And, if you wish to further hone your ninja skills, eHow.com has this helpful article. Point 3 is my favorite. (It's obviously not written by a spelling ninja, but don't tell them I said that!)
When the acceptable time period for a hissy fit had passed, I attempted to calm myself and get back to work. I was unsuccessful. I looked her and said "I just don't feel like I'm done yelling yet!" She replied "Maybe you should get your ninja sword and hit some stuff..."
So that's exactly what I did.
There's a mental picture for you, right? Me whirling a plastic ninja sword and hitting office furniture!! Fortunately, it only took a few whacks before I felt better and she and I were both in a fit of laughter. It was much more effective than squeezing a stress ball or continuing to yell. Plus, it's just funny. You know it's a bad day when you result to plasticized violence!!
So, to the toy weapon-hiding prankster (we both know who you are), the joke is on you. The sword was exactly what I needed to get through the day. To the rest of you, maybe you should consider wielding a plastic sword from time to time too. It's quite therapeutic. And, if you wish to further hone your ninja skills, eHow.com has this helpful article. Point 3 is my favorite. (It's obviously not written by a spelling ninja, but don't tell them I said that!)
